Not real sure why I am writing this. I guess I am hoping for a miracle. I will try to be brief--but it probably won't happen. I am in DEEP financial trouble. I NEVER thought that this could happen to ME. Let me give an overview. Widowed-4 children. Sept 1997 husband goes out of work on disability. Diagnosis-COPD, emphasema. Money is fine--Soc Sec diasability plus private disability from his job. I take on full time job to obtain benefits, mostly for him and our 4 children. Dec 2001, he goes on transplant list for a lung. June 2002, lung transplant (happens to be the same day as our 3 child's high school graduation) Home from hospital in 6 weeks. Not doing well. 32 meds a day.
Take on second FT job to help cover additional medical costs and college tuition for 2 of the 4 kids. Several trips to hospital for medicine adjustments. I am working approx 14 hrs a day, except Sun. Easter-2004. Goes to hospital. Supposed to come home-goes into multi system failure. Dies April 29 2004. $25,000 in life ins. and the 255 from SSec.
Children are devestated-I am lost. WE had been married for almost 30 years. Disability stops. Social security disability stops. They are sending one check for my last child-an upcoming senior.
My 2 sisters in law come when he passed. It got ugly-they said I didn't go to the hospital enough. I spoke w them the day before the memorial service, they told me that I had made their brother not want to live because of my attitude. My oldest son told them to NOT come the the service, and they were no longer part of the family. (Now husband is gone, and my 2 sisters is law, along w their daughters are gone)(BTW0I am an only child and my mom passed away on Thanksgiving day, 1976--I was 8 months pregnant and my husband was based in Los Angeles) The day of the memorial service, my only relative, other than my kids and my dad, was my mom's sister. She was 80. SHe asked if I would take hew to the doctors, Walter Reed Med Center. To cut thru the llines, she was diagnosed w pancreatic cancer. 3 days a week I drove 60 miles to pick her up, take her into the med hospital for chemo, take her back home and then go to work. She had always said that she would take care of me if she were to pass. They had given her 3 months-she lived 9. Her oldest sister-a single, never married 94 year old spinster, blamed me for my aunts death--I would not get 24 hour nursing care because I wanted all the money. SO NOT TRUE!!!! My aunt did not want 24 hour care. SHe finally passed Mar of 2005--my 93 yo aunt got everything. Close to about 2 million in cash. I GOT NOTHING!!!! oh yes, my wonderful cousins who never helped with her care all came down from Pa and got all the furniture, collectable, etc. She gave to ea of my cousins, 50,000.00. That hurt--it was not her money--I helped my aunt because that is what you are supposed to do. But, because I was working 2 jobs, I lost a lot of money spending the day, 3 times a week, running up and down the highway, no big deal--!!
Money was going quickly--=my 2 daughters had been sharing an apt. The oldest met a man that she fell for. That left me paying bills for my home and the apt where the girls had lived. (Yes-all of the kids had jobs-they all started working when they were 14) As my youngest was a freshman in college and still working thru her fathers death. I toyed with selling the house and moving into their apt, but logistically it would be not good. But I was sinking fast. I found a man who would buy the house, let me stay in it, and he would split the equity that could possible accumulate over the next two years. I was in such bad shape, I didnt realize until after all was said and done, that I sold my house to this man for 40 thousand less than the market. I was desparate. Got things caught back up--then the string of bad happened!! As if I needed more bad! I spent 2000 trying to fix my car. I finally had to get rid of it, as I was getting too many tickets. There went another 1400.00 as the down payment. A friend, who had come to stay with me for a short period of time, managed to take moeny from me, and convinced me to sign a car title over to him so that he could get a loan. He promisted to repay in the next 6 months, Guess whaT? He split WITH The car and my money. I thought that you cuold trust a friend. WRONG!! My son was getting married the End of Sep 06/ And yes, that, too, cost money. SO the youngest moved in with me. In the mean time, the other daughter was living w/ her now fiance. That daughter ALWAYS made me proud. SHe was woeking 2 jobs-one a sec pos for a sub contractor of Homeland Security and coaching gymnastics in the evening AND still taking classes at Mason University. Always paid her bills on time. Cared about the rest of the family. But this male--this guy she hooked up with. He had no credit--it ws ruined by his X wife. So my daughter cosigned a loan for hime to get a car. This guy heard of some deal on the net to get a "consolidation loan". This company had you pay an "insurance" fee in case you didn't make the payments. Funny--the ins fee had to be Western unioned to CANADA. He did not do it once, but when the money didn't come in, they told him to send more---AND HE DID!! Oh yeah, the money was my daughters. She calls me hesterical one day--tells me what this idiot had done, she had already mailed out all of her bills--they were all gonna bounce!! (yes-he was scammed! But I would think that any 31 yead old, supposedly college grad with a Bus deg, would have figured that out)I told the two of them to move in with me and my other daugher,m for a short period of time to pay me back and get them on their feet. They agreed=things would be paid back, they would get me 400 a month toward utilities and and something weekely to pay back the other money. WEll--did nto happen. The car that this guy had my duaghter buy, was repossesed. Then 3 weeks ago, he was arrested for embezzlement. (At least he called his father to get money for an attorney) He was sopposed to be in court yesterday0but the wokan who pressed charges did not show up. SO there is a continuation until Mar. I really thought that I could get my house back==just me and the 2 girls. Wrong!!So knowing that she was going to run the risk of bad checks, nsf fees, and possible crimianl charges, I took my rent money and gave it tp her. Thought that maybe my aunt would send me a little bit if I asked.
SOld home 14 months later to pay off bills that were accumulating. Purchased a smaller home-with a large down payment. Thougth things would be ok. WRONG! College tuition had gone up, again. The money was still out that my one daughter still owed. The car payments. The college payments. Still paying off medical bills from my husband. Utilities have gotten higher. When there was money in the bank, all were paid on time. But too many things in too short a period of time==things have gone crazy. I have not made a credit card payment in months. (Oh let me tell you-Christmas was HORRIBLE!!) The car payments, insurance, med bills, are killing me. The guy who bought my house, his wife told me yesterday, that if I didnpt get all the rent to her, plus late fees, by Fri, I would get an eviction notice. Oh, my dentist of 23 years, sued me in court over $320. They are garnishing wages. Oh yea--IRS!! I did my taxes early to get the refunds. WRONG! I owe 1700 fed and about 600 to state. Just one more thing!!
I really believe that everyone would be better if I were not around. It seems that everything I try to do only gets me in deeper and deeper!! I do not know what to do!!
I know you all woul d never care about any of this--so I have wasted a lot of time. But the mental pain of not knowing one min t the nect about anything is horrible. I really wish that I could have been the one to leave this earth.
So as I started out---EVERYTHINGGS WRONG!
